I haven’t been writing on this blog for a while as I have been busy organizing my campaign for a seat on the Prince George City Council. If you would like information on my campaign please visit www.jordangadsby.com.
Share your life
This week we had some exceptional young men staying at our house.
Chantal and I have always said that we can’t, and shouldn’t try, to be everything to our kids. As a result we are very thankful for all of the high caliber people we get to share our lives with. I love it when we cross paths with people who have a positive influence on our family.
This week MDK, Shadow & Psalms from Kingdom Music were those people. These young men are rappers, travelling with Fresh IE and sharing their stories with youth all over the country. We had the pleasure of hosting them at our house for a couple of days. These young men definitely don’t fit the stereotypical model of a rapper. They were some of the nicest guys we’ve met. What I loved was that they took the time to play with my son and share their space with him. Tobin is still talking about “the boys”.
Because of the timing I almost didn’t agree to open our house to these young men as it might have been slightly inconvenient to us. I’m so glad that we decided not to be selfish. I encourage you, if you have an opportunity to share your life with someone, do it! You never know how you will be blessed.
We pray for God’s blessing on the ministry that these gentlemen are involved in!
Never stop loving people!
If you were stranded on an island and could write a 25 word message to the church, as your last communication, what would it be? This was the question at our staff meeting this morning. This is what I would write:
Never stop loving people; no matter what the cost. Go wherever you have to and do whatever is necessary to express the love of Christ!
What would you write?
Christmas Blessing
This year I pray that you enjoy all the blessings of the Christmas season with your family, I also pray that you will take the time to be a blessing to someone else.
Merry Christmas from Jordan, Chantal, Tobin and Meira!
Watch the video bellow to see how the Great Toy Giveaway went. It was a GREAT day!
Security in Marriage
Monday nights this fall we are leading a study at our house based on “I Promise” by Dr. Gary Smalley. I wanted to share with you some thoughts from the first session:
Security may be the most important aspect of your relationship. It is the freedom to truly open up and to be known at a deep, intimate level without fear of being blamed, criticized, judged, condemned, or perhaps worst of all, deemed unacceptable.
Security is not something that will just naturally be there in your relationship; it requires you to be intentional about creating safety for your spouse…starting with an action by you! Don’t wait for you spouse to start creating a safe environment for you; you need to take action. You may be surprised at how quickly your actions will be reciprocated by your spouse.
So where do you start? It’s all about honor and commitment. First you have to honor your spouse. Love and value them, just as God loves and values them. Then you have to be totally committed to the person you have already promised to spend the rest of your life with. Let that commitment sink so deep into your heart that there is no way it will ever be dislodged.
Maybe that all sounds great to you, but you’re still unsure about where to start. Remember, the big stuff doesn’t matter as much as the small, everyday stuff. The majority of marriage breakdowns don’t occur over one large event, they are a process of all the small things adding up. A great marriage, in the same way, is not about the big events but rather the accumulation of all the small ones. You don’t have to go out and spend a lot of money or plan an extravagant date to create security for your spouse. Maybe all you need to do is pick up a rose on the way home, open up and talk with your spouse, or greet him or her with a smile and a kiss when they get home.
Try asking these questions to your spouse to give you an idea of where you might need to start:
When do you feel the most insecure in our marriage?
When do you feel the most secure in our marriage?
This will give you an idea of what you need to do more of, and what you should be doing less of for the sake of your marriage.
What do you do to create security for your spouse?
PureNRG
We had a great time with PureNRG when they came to visit us in Prince George last week! They put on a great concert, but more impressive than the concert to me were the group members themselves. I got to spend a little bit of time with PureNRG as I picked them up at the airport and shuttled them between the church and hotel. I didn’t really know what to expect from three young people who have had the opportunity to travel the world and have fans that are dedicated enough to travel 14 hours for a concert. I thought they might be a little bit spoiled from all of the attention; that it might have all gone to their heads. That wasn’t the case at all. Jordan, Caroline and Carolyne are three of the nicest young people you could meet. They were polite and easy to talk to. They were genuinely interested in our city and what we are doing. It was obvious that they really enjoy what they are doing and don’t take any of what they have for 
granted. It was obvious both when they were on the stage and off of it that they take their groups mission and key verse seriously “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.” – 1 Timothy 4:12. I am sure that their parents have had a lot to do with how grounded they are, so congratulations to the parents, you have raised great children. I hope that I can do as well as you have. Thank you to PureNRG for being a great example to your peers and for joining us in sharing the gospel in Prince George!
Three Great Dates
It seems that life is always busy. I’m sure most of you would agree. This has been even more true for us recently than it usually is. Today I was thinking about the commitment that Chantal and I made to each other back when we were dating: That we would continue to “date” each other after we were married and had kids. For the most part we have been able to do this. Even the week after Tobin was born we left him at his grandma’s for a nap while we went out for lunch. Over the last few months though our “dates” have been less regular than I would like them to be.
There are many reasons why we should continue to date our spouse after the wedding and kids. It’s spending time together that deepens our relationship. It is one way of making our marriage a priority. It demonstrates to our kids how to have a strong marriage and that not everything revolves around them. The list of benefits is huge, but getting down to doing it (and that should happen too) can be more difficult, especially if it’s been awhile.
There are two things you should include in your date to make it a real success, for both of you. Guys like doing stuff: Do something on your date that you will both enjoy. Girls like talking: Make sure that; whatever you do, there is ample room for good conversation. Combining these two has the added bonus that the best conversations usually come when you’re doing something together rather than just staring at each other across the table.
So what do you do? Here are 3 of my favorites:
- Grab a drink to go (coffee, tea, slurpees, whatever you like) and head out for a walk through a park or somewhere else you enjoy.
- Make dinner together. Saves on the cost of eating out and can be a lot of fun as well.
- Have a games night with each other. Dig out your favorite board game, card game or puzzle and enjoy an evening of snacking and playing together
Whatever you decide to do make sure that you arrange for a babysitter or, my favorite, a sleep over at grandma’s. You need to have time for just you and your spouse.
It can be hard to set the time aside for a good date when life is so busy, but it’s vital to your marriage that you do. This afternoon I called Chantal and asked if she’d go out with me tonight. She said yes, so we’re headed out just the two of us.
Whatever you have to do to make it happen: Do it. Pick a time, make it happen, and have fun together.
Here are a few links with some other good date ideas:
5 Ideas for a Cheap Date That’s Fun
Becoming a Father
Use the audio player above to listen to an interview with Pastor Tim Osiowy from the Father’s Day service at Gateway Christian Ministries.
I’ve always wanted to have kids. I spent most of my young adult life getting set up to have a family of my own. I had a house; a car; a career…a few of the ingredients, but I was missing a wife. On my 26th birthday, a week after meeting her, I started dating Chantal; although she didn’t realize it for another week. Apparently saying that we were friends and we’d see where it goes wasn’t as clear as I thought it was. Shortly after getting that straightened out, we both left town for Christmas holidays. While we were away she worried that it was all too surreal and not really happening. At the same time I started shopping for an engagement ring. Three months after we started dating, I asked her to marry me after having dinner at the Space Needle in Seattle. She said yes. I had to close the deal before she found out all of my flaws so we had a short engagement and were married in three months on June 7, 2008. Following our new family tradition of not wasting any time, we decided to start having kids the month after we were married, and by August we were pregnant.
Quite often, before our son was born, people would ask me if I was excited to be a dad. I always had a bit of a hard time answering this question. Of course I was excited; I’d always wanted to have kids. The hard part was that nothing had changed yet and I didn’t really feel connected to this new life. It was neat to watch Chantal’s belly grow, and feel the baby kick, but it didn’t really feel like I thought it would feel to be having my own child. There were moments of excitement and anticipation as we got the baby’s room set up, and moments of frustration as Chantal tried to put together a list of potential names and I wasn’t any help.
I got to catch Tobin when he was born, as much as was possible anyway, the midwife and I kind of each caught half of him. He came very quickly, but don’t try to tell that to Chantal who was in labor for 4 days. When I got to hold my son in my arms and see the look on Chantal’s face when I passed him to her, that’s when I started to feel like a father.
Holding our son for the first time was great, but even better has been getting to know him. I love watching him learn all the little things that babies do that mean so much to the parents and that everyone else gets tired of hearing about. Tobin is 14 months old now and more fun than ever. He understands what’s going on around him. He doesn’t say much yet, but is very good at communicating with everyone anyways.
When I think about it, I realize that just having a baby isn’t what makes me a father. Being a father to my son is so much more than just changing a diaper or helping out with feedings; it’s our relationship that is important. It’s knowing things about him that other people don’t; it’s correcting, teaching, playing, and living life together. This might explain why I didn’t feel much of a connection with Tobin while Chantal was pregnant. Because to me, it is the everyday relationship with my son that makes me a father.
It is incredibly common in our world today for children to grow up without a father. I could never imagine not being close to my children. I was out of town for a few days a couple of weeks ago. Chantal told me that while I was gone, Tobin would run around the house knocking on doors and calling for me. I got home late, after he was in bed, and when he got up in the morning and saw that I was there he had the biggest smile and laugh of joy ever. That makes me feel like a father.
Tobin and I 
love working together. If I’m working on a project at the house he wants to be right there with me: carrying wood to make a fire, taking my screwdrivers, and overseeing my work. He loves riding the lawn tractor with me and takes this job very seriously. It could be easy to be frustrated that it takes me longer to finish p
utting together the bathroom sink because I can’t find the right screwdriver, or having to take time to give him a bit of attention while I’m working, but I have to remind myself that the important thing is that we are spending time together and that he is learning things from me that I might not even consider teaching him.
I love being an important person in my son’s life. Just the other day, the three of us were out shopping and I was carrying Tobin. Chantal put her arm around me as we were walking and Tobin frowned at her and pushed her away, laying his head on my shoulder. He wanted me all to himself.
Every one of these moments is an opportunity to build a relationship with my son, and I know it will be the same with the other kids that we’ll have. I think that being a father is a lot like being a husband in that as I had to become a student of my wife; to know her likes and dislikes, her successes and failures; each child that I have will be unique. He or she will have different ways in which we can spend time and build relationship with one another.
It would be easy to go to work, come home, and focus on whatever I might want to do that evening; but I would be missing out on a relationship with the most important people I know.
Now that we’re just getting used to having one child, our second is due to arrive in just a couple of weeks. I thought it might feel different the second time around because I know what it is like to hold that little baby; but it doesn’t really. I still don’t feel connected to this new little life. If anything, it’s just gone by more quickly without me noticing all of the little changes that take place. When I think about all of the love that we have for this one little boy it’s hard to imagine that it won’t be divided when we have more. I know that by God’s grace as we have more kids our love will be multiplied to each of them and that as we trust God He will use our family for the things that He wants to.
Jesus Centered Parenting
At our World Impact conference this week Ryan Cook preached a message called Jesus the Center. After listening to Ryan I was inspired to think about what it looks like to have Jesus at the center of how we parent our children. There are a lot of things that we have to think about as far as how we parent our children, because a variety of ideas are constantly presented to us as parents. How do we deal with wrong behavior? How do we reward right behavior? What activities do we get involved in? Do we spank or not spank? There is a question that isn’t asked as often but should be: is Jesus really at the center of how we parent? Is Jesus really at the center of our family? I think that for Christian parents this has to be the most important question we can ask ourselves. If Jesus really is the center, everything else will come into place.
So what does it look like to have Jesus at the center?
Prayer. This has to become a priority in our lives. Prayer is a conversation with God, and conversation is a foundation of relationship. If Jesus is going to be the center we have to have relationship with Him. It has to be a priority for us to spend time praying individually and together as a family. Making this happen might mean watching less TV or getting up earlier in the morning. Whatever we believe we have to do in order to make prayer a priority in our family is something that we simply have to do.
Reading the Word of God. The Bible is one of the main ways that God has chosen to communicate with us. Reading the Bible ourselves and together as a family has to happen daily for Jesus to be the center.
Trust. What happens when we get into a difficult situation. Do we trust that God has the answers for us? Do we lean on our own understanding and problem solving skills? Do we despair the hopelessness of our situation? Jesus cares more about our families than even we do. If He’s really at the center than we will put our trust in Him.
Talk. What kind of talk happens in our families? Is the name of Jesus even mentioned? This is a good barometer to identify what is really at the center of our families. What kind of talk takes place. Is the name of Jesus mentioned at more than just meal time prayers? What do we talk about most? sports, TV, money, pets, music, school or the Son of God? If Jesus is not found in the conversations of our families we need to stop and take a close look at what we’re doing and what our priorities are. This might require changing things to make Jesus the center.
What do you do in your family to keep Jesus at the center? What do you need to do to put Him there?
